


Lily Limits

by the_milliners_rook



Series: Alliterative Appeal [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Contains Elements Of We Do Knot Always Love You Novel, Crack, Everyone loves weddings, Gen, Not Epilogue Compliant, renji and rukia are idiots: the sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-16 19:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14172315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_milliners_rook/pseuds/the_milliners_rook
Summary: Two years after Toushirou and Karin’s friendship disintegrated, Rukia and Renji decide to get married.Hitsugaya Juushirou is invited.





	1. Lily Limit

Two years pass.

_Two years and five months pass._

Toushirou should have known that things happen in threes, and once again, at the centre with their _genius_ minds, are Abarai and Kuchiki, dragging Juushirou back into the spotlight.

Yet again, they simply cannot _help_ themselves.

Somehow _,_ Toushirou thinks to himself, sighing, he should have _known_ it would happen one more time.

 

 

Being approached by a nervous Abarai and Kuchiki so soon after their wedding announcement _should_ have been enough of a warning sign. However, it is the accompaniment of _another_ Kuchiki that makes Toushirou feels wary.

Whatever it is, it cannot be good.

“Kuchiki, Kuchiki, Abarai,” Toushirou greets, trying to prompt them into speaking. Likely it has something to do with their wedding, but how _he_ can help is a mystery. “Is something the matter?”

There is an apprehensive pause.

“Rukia,” Kuchiki says, quietly but firmly, his expression carefully composed as he looks to Kuchiki and then to Toushirou, glancing at both meaningfully.

He should have known then.

But no.

No, he doesn’t suspect a _thing_.

“Renji and I,” Kuchiki says, cheeks beet red, as she takes a deep breath, bowing her head. “Would be grateful — _very_ grateful — Captain Hitsugaya, if you could speak to your brother on our behalf and invite him to our wedding.”

… _oh_.

Oh _no._

It takes _all_ of Toushirou’s willpower not to blanch. He screams silently in his head instead, and forces himself to speak in a calm and controlled manner, his face giving nothing away.

“Juushirou?” He says, sounding overly surprised, because he hasn’t thought about that catastrophe in years — _years!_ — and is only _barely_ able to refrain from saying, _are you two fucking kidding me right now?_ “You want to invite him to your wedding?”

“Is there a problem, Captain Hitsugaya?” Kuchiki asks, the one who knows _exactly_ what the problem is.

“No, not at all,” Toushirou assures, lying his ass off as he stares at Kuchiki, a glower _heavily_ _implied_. He takes a moment, and arranges his features to something akin to mild bemusement when he looks at the other two. “I’m… merely curious.”

“We met him once!” Abarai says, flustering under his gaze, but still excited.

Toushirou is _painfully_ aware.

These two idiots have caused him a lot of trouble, and worst of all, they don’t seem to have a clue.

“I recall hearing something about that, yes,” Toushirou says lightly instead, and tries to find a way to gently discourage them without outright saying it. “Not that I’m trying to discourage you, but surely it’s quite unusual to invite someone you’ve only met once to your wedding.”

“It is, but Rukia and I think that a wedding is the perfect time to talk to him again,” Abarai answers cheeks growing redder. Obviously, a wedding is _not_ the perfect time for a reunion, they’ve clearly got an agenda, but… there is part of Toushirou that is… well, _flattered_ that they want to invite Juushirou.

“Who doesn’t love a good wedding?” Toushirou says, giving in, sensing them smile, and then in a moment of thoughtlessness, adds. “Should I also extend the invitation to Hinamori’s older sister?”

Abarai’s jaw drops.

 _Oh no,_ Toushirou thinks, a split second before he realizes what he’s done. _I was being sarcastic._

_They cannot possibly be that stupid —_

“I never knew Momo had a sister!” Abarai says, and _yes, apparently they can._ Because Kuchiki is _just_ as surprised and delighted as Abarai. They deserve each other, as far as Toushirou is concerned, the _idiots_. “We’ve been friends for so long and she’s never mentioned that!”

“They, uh, they don’t get along,” Toushirou explains, flatly. He should feel terrible, but frankly, Toushirou’s too annoyed at their gullibility to care. “That’s why you haven’t heard about Hinamori Ume.”

“Weddings are supposed to bring people together,” Kuchiki declares, passionately, clearly feeling very strongly on the subject. “If our wedding can bring you and your older brother closer, then I _know_ it can happen for Momo and Ume.”

She’s _so_ sincere that Toushirou can’t bring himself to hate her. Earnestness _radiates_ from them, and Toushirou can hardly stand it.

“I’ll be sure to pass your invitation on,” Toushirou mutters, awkwardly, clearing his throat. “You never know what might happen.”

“Thank you, Captain Hitsugaya!”

Abarai and Kuchiki bow and take their leave of him, and Toushirou _immediately glares_ at the Kuchiki who remains.

Kuchiki, who is stoic as usual.

Toushirou doesn’t say anything.

He waits.

“Hinamori Ume?” Kuchiki asks, breaking the silence first, emoting perplexity as best he can, which is to say: with difficulty.

Momo is going to _kill_ him.

“An old joke,” Toushirou says, waspishly, still glaring. “She won’t make it to the wedding, but you knew that already.”

Unlike Toushirou, Momo’s _bankai_ did not have that ability.

“Kuchiki,” Toushirou says, icily. “Was inviting my older brother, who, in case you forgot, is _fictional_ — was it _your_ idea?”

“It was not.”

Toushirou just had to check.

“Did you even _try_ to change their minds?” Toushirou demands, angrily, still stunned that Kuchiki and Abarai had _actually decided to invite his fake older brother to their wedding._ Before Kuchiki replies, another thought occurs, and Toushirou goes very still. “Kuchiki. Aren’t Kuchiki and Abarai close to Kurosaki? Hasn’t Kurosaki told them what happened?”

After the disaster that summer, Toushirou is astounded Kurosaki hadn’t. While it made sense that the general population of Soul Society remained unaware of what transpired in Karakura Town, _surely_ Kurosaki had said _something_ to his closest friends.

After all, it _was_ Kuchiki who had told Karin about Hitsugaya Juushirou, much to Toushirou’s dismay.

Honestly, Toushirou still surprised that Kurosaki never decided to visit him again. Because he knows, right? He _has_ to know the truth.

“About that,” Kuchiki says, hesitating, and Toushirou watches him, aware that Kuchiki, in his own way, is _embarrassed_ about something. Toushirou lifts his eyebrow. “I may have helped strengthen their belief in your older brother’s existence against Ichigo’s claims.”

Okay, Toushirou didn’t expect _that._

“You didn’t,” Toushirou says, when he is able to speak again.

Kuchiki shrugs.

It was _Kuchiki_ , not Kurosaki, who had met Juushirou. It was Kuchiki, not _Kurosaki_ , who had Juushirou’s haiku, as proof as their friendship. It was Kuchiki, not Kurosaki, who stood next to _Juushirou_ , during the Quincy War, and _Kuchiki and Abarai were witnesses to that_.

Kurosaki, on the other… had only Karin’s word.

(And Isshin’s, if that mattered.)

Toushirou stares at him.

“You _did,_ ” Toushirou moans, and buries his face in his hands. “Why. _Why would you do that?”_

“If you would like to tell Rukia and Renji the truth, that is your responsibility,” Kuchiki informs him coldly, bristling. “Bear in mind, Captain Hitsugaya, they are looking _forward_ to seeing him on their wedding day.”

Toushirou lifts his head.

“Well, I’d _hate_ to disappoint them,” Toushirou deadpans, so heavy with mockery that he’s certain even the most obtuse mind couldn’t miss it.

Fingertips drumming, Toushirou mulls over his options. He could tell them the truth, or go along with it. Would it really be so bad to go along with it, Toushirou asks himself, frowning. Like Kuchiki noted, they had looked so _excited_ at the prospect of meeting him again that Toushirou kind of didn’t want to let them down…

“Five minutes,” Toushirou decides, slamming his hand on his desk. “Juushirou appears for five minutes and that’s _it._ ”

So help him, he’s making a bad decision and he knows it, but he’d rather go through the charade than admit they’d ruined his life with a whirlwind of a lie.

“Very well,” Kuchiki agrees, his expression… relieved? Had he been _nervous?_ Nothing in his tone implies that, and yet. “I find that to be an acceptable amount of time.”

“Most of that time will likely be with _you,_ Kuchiki,” Toushirou warns, narrowing his eyes, observing him for his imperceptible reactions. It’s only _fair_. “Seeing as you _are_ his best friend.”

“I recall.”

“And do you remember what he’s like?” Toushirou asks, archly, all too happy to remind him in case he doesn’t. “That brother of mine?”

“I do,” Kuchiki affirms.

“Alright then,” Toushirou sighs, having to content himself with Kuchiki’s scintillating conversation skills and the fact that there’s not much more to be said. Kuchiki’s been warned; now Toushirou just has to… pretend to be his brother.

Again.

“If that’s all,” Kuchiki says, motioning to leaving.

“There is _one_ more thing, Kuchiki,” Toushirou says, inhaling deeply.

Kuchiki waits, eyes dark and unfathomable.

“I’m telling Kuchiki and Abarai after their honeymoon,” Toushirou announces. He can’t keep doing this to himself. Freezing up and pretending he does have one, even though every fibre of his being is telling him that he should really tell the truth.

Even after what happened with Karin, he still…

He still finds it hard to admit.

But if he can tell Kuchiki and Abarai, maybe it’ll be easier to start telling everyone else, if they ever ask.

Maybe.

“So be it,” Kuchiki says, nodding before he leaves, and there’s something in his voice that almost sounds like respect.

 

 

“Shirou-chan,” Momo says, entering his office with an annoyed look on her face. “Why is everyone asking me about my older sister?”

Toushirou lets out a deep sigh.

He knew she’d find out, and yet.

Against all odds, he hoped she wouldn’t. Having said that, Toushirou is willing to bet good money that it was Abarai who decided to ask Momo about Ume.

“I don’t _have_ an older sister,” Momo states pointedly, when the silence drags on and Toushirou waits for her to realize what it is about this situation that feels so familiar. Momo regards him carefully, her thumb under her chin. Eyes widening. “ _Unless —”_

“ _Yes_ ,” Toushirou confirms, grimacing, all too aware that his demise might come any second now.

Momo stares at him, at a loss of words, and he waits, his heartbeat racing frantically in his chest, for her face to go bright red and for steam to come out of her ears. He waits, mentally bracing himself.

“ _Why?”_ Momo shrieks, regaining her voice in a flash of pure exasperation. Fury colours her cheeks, growing redder by the second. “I thought you had put your big brother behind you! Now you add _my_ older sister into the picture?”

Toushirou winces.

“To be fair,” Toushirou says, squirming under the weight of Momo’s glare, before deciding that it’s best to not meet her eyes. “It makes more sense if you’d been there.”

“Really? I would have never have guessed!” Momo seethes, not in the mood to deal with his weak excuses, already pretty ticked off. “Well, since I _wasn’t_ , I sure hope _someone_ can help fill in the blanks.”

Toushirou is silent for a few moments.

“Abarai and Kuchiki invited Juushirou to their wedding,” Toushirou says, and Momo is _floored_ , just like he had been when it had happened.

Her mouth opens and closes several times, and all her anger vanishes. For the moment.

“Oh _,_ ” Momo says, blinking, processing the information with a wrinkle between her eyebrows. “Okay. Okay then. They… did they _really_ , Shirou-chan?”

“Yeah,” Toushirou confirms, glumly, sighing. “Do you really think I could make something that ridiculous up?”

“No,” Momo admits, resignedly, shoulders sagging. She pouts. “I kind of wish you could, though, Shirou-chan. I mean, I know that being Juushirou wasn’t a pleasant experience for you, for anybody, really, but… looking back, it _was_ pretty ridiculous.”

“I’m well aware,” Toushirou says, cheeks heating up at the mere mention of it. “And do you remember how _that_ first started?”

“Wasn’t it because Abarai-kun suddenly asked me about — _oh_ ,” Momo stops, and places her hand over her mouth. Colour drains from her face. “Oh _no_.”

“Pretty much,” Toushirou says, agreeing with her sentiment entirely. “Anyway, for some reason, Abarai and Kuchiki remembered his existence and decided that their wedding was the _perfect_ time to get to know him better, and since we were talking about Juushirou, I just… _happen_ to mention Ume.”

“Shirou-chan!”

“It’s not like I thought they were going to take me seriously!” Toushirou protests, indignantly trying to defend himself. “I was being sarcastic!”

“What a _good_ idea,” Momo snaps, exasperated. “To be sarcastic about our non-existent siblings that everyone thinks _exists!_ ”

“I didn’t think they’d _believe_ me!” Toushirou mutters, sheepishly. He had hoped that Kuchiki, who was _usually_ the more level-headed out of the two, might realize that something was amiss but then again, _who_ was it out of the two, with no warning, decided that the person who _looked_ and _sounded_ an awful lot like the Captain of the Tenth Division but _wasn’t_ him therefore _must_ be his _older brother?_

 _Not_ Abarai, that’s for fucking sure.

“I realize now, Momo, that was a mistake,” Toushirou admits, solemnly.

Momo pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out a long sigh.

“… I mean,” Momo says, eventually, sounding tired. “It’s not like you expected this would happen, right, Shirou-chan? You just spoke without thinking, and everyone’s getting very excited about the wedding, so of course, Abarai-kun and Kuchiki-chan decide to extend the invitation to Ume-chan as well.”

“Yes, exactly,” Toushirou nods, relieved that she understands. “It all happened in the heat of the moment.”

“Please tell me,” Momo says, voice straining to be _quiet_ , “that since it all happened in the heat of the moment, Baa-chan is _also_ invited to the wedding? That way, we could have the whole Hinamori-Hitsugaya family reunion that everyone is desperate to see!”

“There’s still time,” Toushirou mumbles, flushing, “I bet we could —”

“Nope. Stop right there,” Momo says, gesturing for him to be silent. “Not another word, Shirou-chan.”

“I wasn’t being serious,” Toushirou mutters, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, Momo.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Momo says, folding her arms across her chest. “Why couldn’t you have told them the _truth,_ Shirou-chan?”

“When they asked you about Ume, could you?” Toushirou shoots back. “Did you?”

“No,” Momo admits, cheeks puffed up in frustration. “I was so surprised they even knew about Ume-chan that I… it didn’t even occur _not_ to go along with it.”

“Amazing how easily that happens,” Toushirou remarks, dryly.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” Momo tells him, lips pressed into a line. “You could have given me a head’s up.”

“Probably,” Toushirou agrees, though he doesn’t feel _too_ bad about that, to be honest. “Next time.”

“I’m sorry, next time?” Momo echoes, twitching, growing shrill. “ _Next time?_ There isn’t going to _be_ a next time, Shirou-chan! You _can’t_ keep doing this! _”_

“I know,” Toushirou sighs at the predicament he’s in. Again. “But I made a promise that Juushirou would be there.”

“What am I going to do?” Momo groans, covering her face with her hands. “You know as well as I do that Ume-chan can’t go to the wedding.”

“I said that I’d tell Ume about the wedding invitation, not guarantee her appearance,” Toushirou informs her, having already thought of that. “We can always say that our older sister is spending time with Baa-chan.”

“That takes care of Ume-chan, at least,” Momo says, relieved for a moment before worrying. “But why did you promise Abarai-kun and Kuchiki-chan that Juushirou would be there?”

“… I didn’t,” Toushirou says, realizing that he’d left out an integral part. “I promised _Captain_ Kuchiki that he’d be there.”

“Shirou-chan!”

“For five minutes!” Toushirou hastily adds. “I can handle five minutes!”

“I am pretty certain that is blackmail!” Momo states, crossly. “ _Unbelievable_. He knows what could happen to you, and still. _Still!_ He makes you promise that Juushirou will appear at the wedding?”

“It’s fine, Momo,” Toushirou sighs. He doesn’t like it either but he understands where Kuchiki is coming from. Small as it might be, Kuchiki _did_ play a part in making people believe that Juushirou exists, and well… Toushirou owes him.

“It’s really not, Shirou-chan,” Momo disagrees. “Are you going to be okay? The last few times you’ve been Juushirou-kun, it hasn’t gone well for you.”

“This time, it’ll be different,” Toushirou swears. At Momo’s expression of disbelief, he continues. “I admit, I went a bit too far last time.”

“A _bit?”_ Momo repeats, incredulous.

“Fine, I got carried away. I became obsessed. I _refused_ to listen to reason until it blew up in my face,” Toushirou amends, waspishly. “Happy?”

“Yes,” Momo confirms, with dimples in her cheeks. “What makes you so sure that this time isn’t going to end just as badly as the other few times?”

“Well,” Toushirou pauses, and looks at Momo. “… I’ll have you to look out for me, right?”

“That’s awfully presumptuous of you, Shirou-chan,” Momo says, violet eyes twinkling, as she looks at him, endeared, even as she tries to maintain her annoyed expression. “I don’t remember agreeing to anything of the sort.”

“Momo,” Toushirou says, wheedling a little. “C’mon.”

“Say the magic word,” Momo says, _definitely_ teasing him, and yet is completely serious.

“ _Please_ help me, Momo?” Toushirou says, rolling his eyes as he gives in. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Okay,” Momo agrees, grinning obnoxiously like only a big sister would, before she gasps. “Oh! On one condition!”

_“Momo!”_

“Trust me, it’s important,” Momo insists, and Toushirou gives her a _look_ that suggests he highly doubts that. “You have to talk to Hyourinmaru and make sure he’s okay with this.”

“… oh,” Toushirou grimaces. “Damn it.”

“I thought you might have forgotten about that,” Momo says, primly, and Toushirou resents that she has to be so _pleased_ with herself.

“Give me a moment,” Toushirou sighs, and closes his eyes.

 

 

 _No!_ Hyourinmaru howls. _Absolutely not!_

“You haven’t even heard me out!” Toushirou protests, clenching his hands into fists as an icy wind blows through him, and he raises his voice so he doesn’t get drowned out. “You owe me that!”

 _I owe you no such thing!_ Hyourinmaru harrumphs, upturning his nose. _You promised me that Juushirou would never happen again, and lo and behold, you are breaking that promise!_

“If you’d listen to me, you’d understand that I’m not!” Toushirou bellows, and at _that,_ Hyourinmaru appears to be highly sceptical, but… a little bit curious, in regarding to what he has to say next.

_Well?_

“I promised you that I would _never again_ use Daiguren Hyourinmaru as a way to make Karin fall in love with Juushirou,” Toushirou shouts, and fully intends _never_ to go back on that. Hell, he’s not even going to use Juushirou to make _Kuchiki_ fall in love with him… as ironic as that might be. “I do not need Juushirou for _romance!_ ”

_Then what do you need him for?_

“Revenge!”

_Revenge?_

“Kuchiki and Abarai ruined my life with this Hitsugaya Juushirou nonsense!” Toushirou fumes, and every iota of rage he felt towards them and he has tried to repress, bursts out of him. “It was my fault that things with Karin ended that way — I’m not denying that! — but they _started_ it! _They_ came up with the idea that I had an older brother! _They_ remembered his existence and made everyone believe I had one! _They_ decided to invite him to their wedding! Juushirou is _their_ fault!”

And to add insult, they still have _no idea_ of the hell they put him through.

That… actually felt pretty good to admit, Toushirou realizes, breathing heavily, before he calms down. He had no idea of how much pent up rage he had harboured until just then.

 _So,_ Hyourinmaru sounds confused, _you want Juushirou to ruin their wedding?_

“No, that would be terrible,” Toushirou frowns at Hyourinmaru, wondering what’s going through that head of his. What is the matter with him? “Abarai and Kuchiki may be idiots, but they don’t deserve that.”

_Then…_

“I am going to teach them a lesson they are never going to forget,” Toushirou says, snapping his fingers and figures out that the perfect revenge is a perfectly good, perfectly harmless prank, where everyone gets what they want.

 

 

“Okay, he’s in,” Toushirou says, opening his eyes, and tells Momo what had just occurred. “What do you think?”

Momo takes a minute.

“I think we’re going to need Captain Hirako,” Momo says, truthfully.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that,” Toushirou scowls, not even needing a moment to consider it. He knows Momo’s right, and sighs. Time to set up a club meeting. “Fine, let’s talk to Hirako.”

 

 

Hirako is _delighted_ by this turn of events, to nobody’s surprise.

“Wait, before this goes on any further, I _have_ to know,” Hirako interrupts, curiosity getting the best of him. “How did Hinamori Ume happen?”

Toushirou and Momo look at each other.

 

 

Hinamori Ume is Baa-chan’s idea.

Normally, Toushirou and Momo visit Baa-chan separately, because their time off rarely allows them go together. However, once or twice, there have been times when it is possible, and luckily, soon after the event that ended in a disaster, another such time occurred and they were able to visit Baa-chan together.

Without even needing to speak, it seemed that Baa-chan could already tell that something had happened.

And without even meaning to, the words just poured out of Toushirou, and he told Baa-chan everything.

Maybe because he thought it was over. Maybe because Momo was by his side. Maybe because it was the three of them, like it used to be, and he didn’t want to hide the truth from her.

He wanted to be honest and upfront, and the words came to him, even though he was afraid of how she would react.

Baa-chan had taken it in good humour, much to their surprise, and relief, chuckling at the absurdity of how everything had spiralled out of control, although she made sure to reprimand him when she felt the situation had gone too far.

But all in all, Toushirou had felt good, confessing to his crime, especially since he had distanced himself from it, had time to reflect, and realize _how_ bonkers the situation had become, now that he was free of it.

With a cheeky smile, Baa-chan had asked if they had ever thought about a Hinamori sister.

They hadn’t, but Toushirou leapt at the chance to create Momo’s opposite.

 _Ume,_ Toushirou decided in an instant, before Momo could say anything. _She’s called Hinamori Ume._

Momo had named Juushirou because it was similar to Toushirou; so that logic Toushirou felt it was only fair that he returned the favour. Momo meant peach, Ume meant plum, and thus, shared a similar theme.

The additional detail that Momo did not _like_ plums, made the name feel all the more fitting.

 _The sour_ _sister,_ Toushirou added, smirking as Momo wrinkled her nose, but agreed that her older was now called Hinamori Ume.

But Baa-chan wasn’t finished. She didn’t want _just_ a name for Momo’s sister, she wanted a personality, a history, an appearance for her, so that all three of them could look back and laugh about their silly nonsense.

“What would Momo’s opposite be?” Baa-chan had mused, and Momo went bright pink as Toushirou knew _exactly_ what that would entail.

“She’d have to be someone cynical and messy. Abrasive most of the time, though her softer side might shine through occasionally,” Toushirou smirks, watching Momo’s flush deepen. “Ume is loud and cocky, but her mind is sharp, and her tongue is sharper.”

“Now who does _that_ remind me of?” Momo says, furrowing her brow as she thinks, and then claps when she figures it out. “Of course! Sarugaki-san!”

“Wonderful,” Toushirou deadpans. “So your opposite is Sarugaki and mine is Hirako.”

They could still alter Ume’s personality, of course. Make her mischievous and extremely tall, like Juushirou was, but… still.

It’s a horrifying realization to who their siblings could be. Never has he been so glad that Momo is his only sibling.

He barely gets along with Hirako and Sarugaki under normal circumstances, to _imagine_ being related to them is… is a complete _nightmare._

Momo giggles.

“It’s good to know that our older siblings would get along,” Momo notes with a smile, amused by their revelation. “A little more belligerently than you and me, but still, Shirou-chan, they work together when it counts.”

“Yeah, sure,” Toushirou says, not wanting to think about the fact that Hirako and Sarugaki are _dating._ He says nothing for a long time, grumbling, “We have the worst imaginary siblings _ever._ ”

 

 

(Needless to say, Toushirou and Momo don’t reveal everything to Hirako.)

 

 

“So, you’ll help?” Momo prompts, uncertain. “Captain?”

“Duh, obviously!” Hirako rolls his eyes. “But I just want to point out that you could save yourself the trouble and — not forgetting your favourite word — the _embarrassment_ of going through this if you tell Rukia and Renji the truth today. Even Byakuya’s blackmail means nothing, really, after they’ve found the truth.”

“I could,” Toushirou agrees, knowing that he’s right, and _yet._ He rubs the back of his neck, wondering how to put it. This way, everyone gets what they want. It’s a genuine compromise, unlike last time. Everyone wins, because Juushirou appears for five minutes and then Toushirou intends to tell them the truth afterwards. “But they _really_ want Juushirou to be at the wedding.”

Even with his prank in mind, Toushirou doesn’t have the heart to let them down.

If Momo and Hirako had _seen_ Abarai and Kuchiki’s faces in that moment, eager and joyful at the thought of meeting Juushirou again… they’d have understood it.

“Oh, _Captain Hitsugaya,_ ” Hirako says, in a tone that Toushirou that absolutely _hates._ It’s so… _patronizing._ “You softie.”

“Under that angry exterior of yours,” Momo continues, using that _exact same tone_ , only it’s worse because where Hirako smirks, Momo _smiles_.

“Stop it,” Toushirou says, flustering.

“You’re still that gentle, kind-hearted boy I grew up with,” Momo says, finishing her sentence with an affectionate expression and Toushirou hates them both _so much_.

“How _adorable,_ ” Hirako coos.

Toushirou is _so close_ to throttling them both.

“That’s enough,” Toushirou says instead, clearing his throat as he tries to cling to what little dignity he has left. “This started with them, it should end with them too.”

“Like book-ends!” Momo remarks, lighting up and smiling at the thought of applying a literary technique to their situation. “That’s sweet.”

“Nerds,” Hirako says, rolling his eyes. “What is the matter with you two, seriously?”

Toushirou ignores him.

“It doesn’t matter,” Hirako says, paying no notice and rubbing his hands together. “Because Team Hitsu-liar is back!”

Toushirou baulks.

“What was that?” Toushirou says, slowly, but with every word enunciated clearly. He draws his shoulders back and looks expectantly at Hirako.

“Team Hitsu-liar,” Hirako repeats, marvelling at what he’s just said aloud, he looks so proud of himself. “I don’t even know why I said it, but man, it sounds fucking awesome, doesn’t it?”

“You… you just came up with it,” Toushirou echoes, mind stuttering. “Just like that?”

“Yep,” Hirako confirms, nodding. “You like it?”

For _years_ he had tried to think up the _perfect club name_ for his little group that was in the know, and each and every attempt, Toushirou had thought up with had been met with dissatisfaction.

And then there’s Hirako, in a flash of inspiration, comes up with the answer.

“Yeah,” Toushirou says, and the truth is, he does. If only he hadn’t been so fixated on making it a _club._ Hirako’s name for it is a play on words that describes the situation perfectly. “We’re a team. I lie, we all lie. Hence, Team Hitsu-liar. It’s… perfect.”

It’s a lot better than anything he could have come up.

“I like it, too,” Momo says, as she tests the name for herself. “Team Hitsu-liar.”

It rolls off the tongue smoothly, and Toushirou can’t help but wish he had thought of it himself.

But even he has to admit that Club Hitsu-liar doesn’t sound nearly as good as Team Hitsu-liar does.

“Alright, we’ve got two weeks to prepare for Juushirou,” Toushirou clears his throat, and meets their gaze. “Let’s get to work.”

 

 

It’s easier this time around.

He’s been Juushirou before, he can be Juushirou again.

This time, he doesn’t take it so seriously, he doesn’t compare himself to a character of impossible standards and ridiculousness, instead appreciating the absurdity in a way he couldn’t before.

It’s meant to be fun, and honestly, Toushirou has a lot of fun exaggerating quirks that he previously hated.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t hear voices or hallucinate this time around. Because this time he _talks_ to Momo and Hirako, and they know how to lighten the situation and remind him that it’s all in jest, there’s no need to tamp down on his emotions.

He _does_ get grouchy from time to time, but that’s more of an inevitability of drinking too much coffee to deal with the tiredness, and Matsumoto is more than willing to threaten to take away his supply — an order, which Toushirou suspects, she delights in abusing more than she should.

The two weeks fly by, and if Toushirou is being honest with himself, he’s glad the life and times of Hitsugaya Juushirou is ending in this way.

It’s come full circle at last.


	2. Rose Reveal

On the morning of the wedding, Toushirou wakes up earlier than usual. Nerves. Fucking hell. He could hardly get to sleep in the first place; it’s a miracle he succeeded at drifting off for a short time at all.

Oh, he could try to doze and hope that he’ll fall back to sleep, but it won’t work. Too much is at stake, it’s all he’s been able to think about for days and he knows that he only has one shot.

So. No pressure there.

Toushirou sighs. Decides that he should stick to his regular morning routine and get out of bed. Why not get an early start and pretend that it’s a normal day for as long as he can?

He’s splashing water on his face when he hears a knock on his door.

“Momo,” Toushirou says, relaxing when he sees her standing outside, and lets her in. “Morning.”

“Good morning, Shirou-chan,” Momo says, trying to sound more upbeat than she actually does, overdoing it just slightly in an attempt to stifle her anxiety. “How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” Toushirou admits, doing his best not to freak out. If he pretends that he believes that it’ll be fine, maybe it actually _will_ be fine. He doubts that very much. He runs his hand through his hair and changes the subject. “You look very nice, Momo.”

“Matsumoto-san helped me pick it,” Momo blushes prettily, momentarily getting distracted and twirling, seemingly calming down for a second, before perking up once again as she meets his eyes, anxious energy surrounding them under the pretence of pretending that everything is _fine,_ everything is _normal_. “So do you, by the way! You look very handsome!”

“Thanks,” Toushirou says, softly. “Momo, I —”

“Oh! I also bought a different set of clothes for Juushirou-kun to wear,” Momo holds up a bag that he hadn’t noticed her carrying. “The transformation is probably going to ruin your outfit, so… you might want to bring a second set of clothes too.”

“What would I do without you?” Toushirou says, wryly, wondering how he hadn’t thought of that. He breathes out, and looks at her, filled with nothing but love and admiration. “You’re the best sibling I could ever ask for.”

“I know,” Momo grins, dimples dancing. “But thank you for telling me anyway. Now, what were you going to say before I interrupted you?”

“Just that, I really appreciate that you helped me out,” Toushirou says, throat thick with emotion. He swallows, and continues. “You didn’t have to do that.”

But she had, and he’s eternally grateful for that.

“I wanted to,” Momo says, softly but sincerely. “I didn’t want to see things end up the way they did last time. And they haven’t, right? You haven’t…”

“No,” Toushirou confirms, shaking his head. “Not once.”

He hasn’t hallucinated. Hasn’t heard voices. It really made him realize how much stress he had put himself under in an attempt to do the impossible and genuinely _believe_ that the impossible was possible. What was he _thinking_ , back then? How on earth did he think he could pull it off?

“Good,” Momo exhales, reassured, and smiles at him. A genuine smile, free from worrying about their impending predicament, before her bossy mode takes over. “This is the last time that you’re going to be Juushirou-kun. The last time that everyone is under the impression that you _have_ an older brother.”

“I know,” Toushirou says, tempted to make some glib remark, if only it wasn’t obvious that Momo was talking more to herself than him, and the ending is close he can almost _feel_ it _._

“Of course, I was going to be there for you,” Momo says, looking at him with hopeless affection. “What kind of big sister would I be if _wasn’t_?”

“You just want to see the look on everybody’s faces when they realize the truth,” Toushirou teases, preferring to deflect, rather than reveal how comforted he is by her words. “After I do such a good job at making them believe that they’ve seen Juushirou in person.”

“No, I don’t,” Momo protests, slightly, more for propriety’s sake than anything else, and he looks at her, knowing this, and her cheeks pinken. “Okay, maybe I do, Shirou-chan. Just a little bit.”

He laughs, then, and Momo joins in, and the space between them feels lighter, more comfortable, and for the first time that day, Toushirou thinks that he just might be able to survive through it after all.

 

 

Hirako meets them later.

“You guys ready?” He asks, sizing both of them up and down, approval in his eye. “You’re both looking mighty dapper for this auspicious occasion.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Momo says, cheeks pinking, before she turns to Toushirou, with a concerned expression. “Shirou-chan, are you sure you want to do this?”

It’s not too late to back out, Toushirou knows, and he hears it in her voice, the words unsaid.

“I’m sure Momo,” Toushirou says, taking a deep breath. He made a promise; he’s going to uphold it. “So long as Kurosaki stays away from me, it… it should be alright.”

They’ve all predicted that Kurosaki will probably make most of the problems for them—and if Hirako and Momo play their parts right, Toushirou can avoid having any interaction with him.

But who knows, really? Even if they’ve gone over the plan a million times, there could be other variables they never even thought to take into account.

(All three of them are kind of hoping that the rest of Kurosaki’s family won’t show up, because that would be simply awful and really _would_ ruin everything.)

“What about Orihime-chan?” Hirako asks, snapping his fingers. “Do you think that she and Ichigo might team up?”

“Doubtful,” Toushirou says, shaking his head. He had no determinable proof, but he knew Inoue was clever and had likely pieced things together. He hoped, perhaps, that might be enough.

Still, he should probably talk to her just to check.

“Are you going to be okay with everyone staring at you?” Hirako asks. “There’s going to be a _lot_ of people at this wedding, _Captain_ Hitsugaya.”

“I can handle being stared at,” Toushirou says, dismissively. He’s had years of experience of _that_. “I’ll be fine as long as no one hits on me —”

“See, that? That might be impossible,” Hirako mulls, looking at him like he’s a fool for hoping otherwise. “Juushirou’s pretty gorgeous, you know. There’s bound to be _someone_ who’s going to try and hook up with him.”

“Then I will ignore them,” Toushirou insists, determinedly. “Juushirou is _only_ sticking around for five minutes, so help me. There isn’t going to be enough time to flirt with him.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Hirako hums, baring his teeth in an unpleasant smile, and Toushirou resists the urge to glower at him.

“ _Moving on,_ ” Toushirou growls, and places his hand in the middle. “I’m ready. On three.”

“Two,” Momo says, putting her hand above his.

“One,” Hirako beams, adding his hand on top, before all together they raise their palms to the sky.

“Team Hitsu-liar!”

 

 

During the ceremony, Momo bursts into tears.

“Weddings are so beautiful!” Momo tells them, blubbering through her sobs.

“Yeah, they sure are,” Hirako says, awkwardly patting her shoulder, his tone kind, his dispassionate demeanour a complete contrast to Momo’s heartfelt reaction. In that same drawl, he adds. “There, there, Momo. Let it all out.”

“You’re so emotional,” Toushirou says, fondly, and hands Momo a handkerchief. “Here.”

“I can’t help it!” Momo sniffles, dabbing her face, as more tears stream down her cheeks. “I’ve never seen Abarai-kun and Kuchiki-chan so happy! And they’re _married,_ Shirou-chan! _Married!_ I’ve waited for this day for so long!”

“Man, I can’t believe Rukia isn’t going to change her last name when she’s on duty,” Hirako says, shaking his head in disbelief before his eyes light up and he _grins_. “Wait, this _totally_ means that she’s ‘Kuchiki in the streets, and Abarai in the sheets!’ What a legend!”

“It does not!” Toushirou retorts, affronted, before becoming gentle as he speaks to Momo. “But you’re right, Momo. It’s good to see Abarai and Kuchiki so happy.”

“Kind of makes me jealous,” Hirako says, with a wry smile, his voice unexpectedly wistful. “But hey, me and Hiyori have got a pretty good thing going on anyway.”

“Captain,” Momo sniffs, still teary-eyed, “do you think you’ll ever marry Sarugaki-san?”

“I wonder,” Hirako says, thoughtful for a moment before whimsicality takes over. “What about you, Captain Hitsugaya? Think you’ll ever find the right girl?”

“I don’t know,” Toushirou shrugs. He’s never really let himself even _think_ about marriage and… well, even with Karin; he had never thought _that_ far ahead. “Maybe.”

He sighs.

He’d been deluding himself with Karin. As much as he hates to say it, Toushirou doesn’t think his feelings for her were as genuine as he thought they were. Looking back, it was easy to see how swept up in the moment he had been.

Truthfully, after Toushirou had made a full recovery and come to terms with what he had done, he realized his feelings for her had faded. Of course he missed Karin. She had been his best friend, and he had ruined that.

But he doesn’t think he was _in_ love with her. Not anymore. Not at any point, honestly. It had made _sense_ at the time, sure, but he had been _insane_ , driving himself mad to try and control something that was doomed to crash and burn.

And Karin — Karin had been something to try and anchor himself to amidst the tumult.

He obsessed over her, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and a lot of that was because of the insomnia and the coffee he drank to an unhealthy degree, giving him a goal to push himself towards until he burnt himself out. Hell, the obsession had only started because he’d felt insecure about himself, about their friendship, and was scared that he’d lost her to his fake brother.

If he’d _really_ loved her, like he thought he had, wouldn’t his feelings have remained?

Something had stayed with him, but he’s certain it’s plain and simple regret.

And to think, _he_ had once lectured her about her relationships not being substantial enough. That _she’d_ been shallow and superficial with how she treated her boyfriends.

What a fool he’d been.

“No,” Toushirou decides, after ruminating. He’d have to forgive himself first, and he’s not sure that would happen any time soon. “Not for a long time, at any rate.”

“Don’t be so down, _Captain_ Hitsugaya,” Hirako rolls his eyes. “So you messed up once —”

“Once?” Toushirou repeats, scoffing.

“So you messed up _big_ time, and I helped with that,” Hirako amends, unfussed. “It’s not the end of the world. It didn’t end when it all came crashing down, you know? I mean, it did with Karin, but the world kept turning, still is. You’re young. Mistakes happen. Life goes on. Things will sort themselves out, eventually, given time. I wouldn’t worry about it, man. The real deal will come around sooner or later.”

“Perhaps,” Toushirou sighs, oddly comforted by Hirako’s words. Maybe it’s just his blasé attitude, instead of irritating him like it usually does, instead there’s something reassuring about how laidback he is. Like it’s not as much an issue as Toushirou feels certain it is. He clears his throat, and quietly asks. “How about you, Momo? Do you have anyone in mind?”

“Um,” Momo goes pink.

“No, _surely_ _not,_ my daughter!” Hirako gasps, loudly, clearly aware of something that Toushirou is not. “You’re not thinking of the person that _I’m_ thinking of, are you?”

“Well,” Momo pauses, blinking, hesitating on what expression to make with her face before she settles on looking confused. “That depends on who you’re thinking of, Captain?”

“Why, Kira-kun, of course!” Hirako declares, cheerfully, and Momo’s muffled squeak is a dead giveaway that Hirako is onto something, much to her dismay. “You didn’t really think I _hadn’t_ noticed how you two kids look at each other?”

“No! You’re wrong!” Momo protests, flustering into a darker shade of red. “We don’t look at each other _any_ particular way, Captain! Kira-kun and I are just very good friends!”

“Okay, Momo,” Toushirou says, deciding to agree with her, knowing that it’ll make her get even more wound up.

“Not you _too_ , Shirou-chan!” Momo says, with dismay, desperate not to draw attention to herself, blush deepening by the second. She looks at him, wounded, before crossing her arms and turning away, harrumphing. “Believe what you want. Kira-kun and I are _friends_. Nothing more.”

“But if things became… _more_ between you two,” Hirako drawls, slyly, raising an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t mind, right?”

Toushirou decides to intervene before Momo responds and possibly lose her temper.

“We should get moving,” Toushirou says, hurriedly, noticing people beginning to leave. Hirako may not realize it, but Toushirou without a doubt had just saved his life. “I hear the Daruma Bar serves very nice food.”

“Yes, Abarai-kun adores that place,” Momo tells them, desperate trying to divert Hirako’s attention away from speculating about the nature of her relationship with Kira, and jumps at the opportunity that Toushirou had provided. “It’s really nice! The food is delicious.”

“So how are you feeling?” Hirako asks, leering at Toushirou as they walk towards the bar’s direction. “You ready?”

Toushirou sighs.

“Not really.”

“You know you don’t have to do this, Shirou-chan,” Momo says quietly, her eyes watching him carefully. “We’ll still be here for you.”

“Momo, his mind’s made up,” Hirako says, flatly, side-eying her. “I didn’t see Karin anywhere, so I think we’re good to go, unless she decides to turn up in the bar, which… I know Juushirou is, but he’s a special guest, and I doubt anyone else is going to do the same. So, once the plan’s in motion, the best we can do is keep Ichigo away from him.”

“Good luck with that,” Toushirou mutters, averting his gaze as he catches sight of Kurosaki and his friends and does his best to turn invisible.

He’s glad Karin isn’t here.

Or, well, more accurately: he’s glad Karin isn’t here to see Juushirou swan about and captivate everyone’s attention by his sheer charisma and watch Toushirou make an absolute fool of himself.

“It’ll be over before you know it,” Momo assures him, squeezing his arm gently. “Just remember to smile.”

“And mingle!” Hirako finger-guns, insisting with a manic grin. “Juushirou might be fashionably late, but you promised me that you would do your damndest to mingle.”

Toushirou recalls no such thing, but even he knows that he can’t stay with Hirako and Momo for the entire day.

 

 

Inoue hands him her camera.

Toushirou grumbles a little, but complies. He snaps a few photos, some slightly blurred because no one stands still for long, but he refuses to give the camera back until there’s at least a couple of decent snapshots that he’s satisfied with before he returns her camera.

“Wow, these look great, Hitsugaya-kun!” Inoue says, as Kuchiki excuses herself to talk to Kyouraku, and Inoue looks at the photos he’s taken. Her smile brightens the longer she looks at them, not seeming to mind the ones which Toushirou wished didn’t look so amateurish and should have deleted when he had the chance. “I think you have the makings of being a great photographer.”

“I don’t, but that’s nice of you to say, Inoue,” Toushirou shakes his head, bashful. Maybe if he wasn’t so nervous… but talking to Inoue, now that the camera is out of his hands makes him feel calmer, less self-conscious. “You look stunning.”

“Thank you. You look wonderful too,” Inoue ducks her head, pretty in her pink chiffon dress, cheeks warming. “It’s been a while since we talked.”

“It has,” Toushirou agrees, shoving his hands into his pockets. “How goes the studying?”

“I’m nearly finished, can you believe it?” Inoue smiles cheerfully, breathing out an accomplished sigh of relief. “Sometimes it’s a little tricky to manage my time between my job and studying, but I work hard and I get through it.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Toushirou says, recalling that Inoue had been a very studious student at high school, and regularly got good grades. He’d had fun asking her quizzing her in preparation for her exams, since she was diligent. He’d admired that about her. “How’s Karin?”

He feels awful the moment he says it, the words taking them _both_ by surprise. If he could take them back, he would, because he honestly didn’t _mean_ to ask about Karin. It’s just.

Well.

 _Not_ seeing Karin has made him nervous and he can’t rid the thought from his mind, as much as he tries to ignore it, that she might turn up, all the same, contrary to Hirako’s opinion.

Anyway.

 _Shit_.

“I’m sorry,” Toushirou apologizes, once he’s regained the ability to speak. He may have just shot himself in the foot, but he can still salvage the conversation. Perhaps. “Forget I asked. You don’t have to answer that, Inoue.”

The thing is, there’s no one else he _can_ ask.

He hasn’t gone to Karakura Town since _that_ day, adhering to Isshin and Karin’s demand for him to stay away from them. He supposes he could ask Matsumoto, since Karin and Matsumoto used to be close, but… that might entail Matsumoto asking about their fallout, and Toushirou doesn’t want to revisit those memories any more than he usually does.

Even so, it’s not right to put Inoue in that position.

“It’s alright, Hitsugaya-kun,” Inoue says, after a beat, her tone quiet but soft. She offers him a small smile, understanding. “Karin-chan is doing well. She’s happy.”

“Good,” Toushirou says, the tightness in his chest loosening. The memory of Karin’s tear-streaked face haunts him, and for one blinding moment, it’s like he’s there again, watching her heart break all over again. He hates himself for causing it, but he’s relieved to hear that Karin is doing well, at least. He breathes out, the knowledge bringing him peace he thought he’d never have. “I’m glad to hear it. Thank you, Inoue.”

Every time he thought about reaching out —

“Was it… were you trying to tell Karin-chan about your brother?” Inoue asks, studying him carefully. “Before…”

She trails off, and Toushirou nods.

“Yes,” Toushirou confirms, simply. There’s not much more to say, really. He should have known better, but his fear of telling the truth drove him to disastrous depths and made their fallout inevitable.

He understood if Karin hated him still and never wanted to speak to him again. He deserves that.

“I see,” Inoue says, knitting her brow, and he expects… judgement. Some flash of disgust. But there’s nothing except sympathy and sorrow at the situation. “And you haven’t talked to her since?”

“No,” Toushirou admits with a sigh. She told him that she never wanted to see him again. What would be the point? “I’ve been… busy, Inoue.”

It’s true, but sometimes he wonders if it’s just an excuse that he uses more than is strictly necessary.

Best to push that thought away.

“I’m sure you have,” Inoue agrees, sincerity shining through. “I think both of you needed time apart after what happened. But, two years not speaking to each other is a long time, Hitsugaya-kun, and you and Karin-chan meant a lot to each other. I believe you can be friends again.”

“I don’t know,” Toushirou says, doubtful. Karin doesn’t _have_ to forgive him; he’s come to terms with that a long time ago.

“You _can_ ,” Inoue insists, a tad stronger this time, and Toushirou blinks, touched by her optimism. Her idealism. She softens, smiling. “We’re at a wedding, Hitsugaya-kun. I think it’s time we should look forward to the future rather than stay trapped by our past mistakes.”

It is _exactly_ what he needed to hear, Toushirou thinks, inspired by her hopeful outlook in life. Maybe he _should_ reach out, and see if it’s possible to be friends again.

“I think you’re right,” Toushirou agrees, and for the first time during their conversation, does he manage to genuinely smile.

“Great!” Inoue beams, lifting up her camera. “I think it’s time someone took a photo of us!”

“Wait, hang on a second —”

“Sado-kun! Can you come over here, please?”

 

 

Dare he say it; Toushirou does a _pretty good job_ of mingling. Something about his conversation with Inoue finally gets him to relax and enjoy himself, catching up with Sado and Ishida, and learning what they’ve done since they last saw each other. He’s a little nervous because Sado and Ishida are close friends with Kurosaki, but Hirako and Momo are doing their part in preventing Kurosaki from going anywhere near him, so Toushirou is able to relax once more.

He finds out that Sado is now a personal trainer, working at the gym, a profession that Toushirou had never considered a possibility, and yet, can easily see Sado’s patience and dedication working in his favour. As for Ishida…

“A doctor?” Toushirou echoes, surprised.

“Is there something wrong with being a doctor?” Ishida flatly asks, staring at him as he pushes his glasses up his nose.

“Not at all,” Toushirou quickly says, not meaning to offend. “I just… had a great appreciation for your fashionable clothes, is all. I thought you might pursue a career in that department…”

“ _Oh_ ,” Ishida says, surprised but evidently pleased by his remark. He puffs up a little, like a peacock almost about to strut, and Toushirou realizes belatedly that Ishida might be trying to show off his clothes. Which are, admittedly, very stylish. “Well, if you must know, I still design clothes in my free time. Perhaps I might become a fashion designer in the future, after becoming a successful doctor.”

“I’d like that,” Toushirou says, politely. “I’m sure you’d be an equally successful fashion designer.”

“I always knew you were a man of taste,” Ishida says, regarding him with something akin to interest. “Didn’t you wear a bandanna once?”

“Once,” Toushirou repeats, and tells his sorry tale about how Matsumoto mocked him. And then laughed. Endlessly. For weeks. Never letting him live it down.

“I _liked_ it. It was simple yet elegant,” Ishida confides, shaking his head in disapproval at Matsumoto’s antics. “No one appreciates our tastes.”

“They really don’t,” Toushirou agrees, sighing, and finds himself pleasantly accepting tips about how to accessorize.

And somehow, two hours of Toushirou socializing pass by, and out of the blue, Hirako slings his arm around Toushirou’s shoulder and tells him that they should step out for a bit.

 

 

“So, how do you feel?” Hirako asks, blandly, while Toushirou transforms into his future self. Hirako finds a corner for Toushirou to try on his new clothes that Momo bought for him, and makes sure that no one peeks.

 _Great,_ Toushirou thinks, trying not to feel uncomfortable and failing miserably. _This is just… great._

“ _Captain_ Hitsugaya?” Hirako drawls, when Toushirou doesn’t answer. “Everything alright there?”

“My — we have a problem,” Toushirou sighs, and admits, shyly, after a beat. “My clothes don’t fit.”

“What?” Hirako says, baffled. “Hang on. Lemme see.”

Toushirou sighs, and steps out of the corner. Movement restricted by the fact that _his clothes are too small for him._ At a guess, he’d say it’s off by a size, so it’s not _unbearable_ or _too_ noticeable, but it’s annoying and he’s conscious of it with every fibre of his being.

“Oh, man,” Hirako says, smirking as he looks at him up and down. “This is a doozy.”

“You don’t say,” Toushirou glares at him. “What do I do _now?_ ”

Hirako thinks for a bit.

“Got it,” Hirako snaps his fingers, teeth flashing bright like a wolf’s smile. “We ditch the shirt, but keep the jacket.”

_“Excuse me?”_

“We’re using those abs of yours to your advantage,” Hirako explains, as if that’s just common sense. “People see those abs, they’re not going to care that your clothes are tight. Fact is, they might even thank you that they are. It’s a pretty good look to pull off, all things considering.”

“Are you sure it’ll work?” Toushirou asks, incredulous, and Hirako merely gives him a _look,_ like he’s never been more certain. Toushirou sighs before giving in and removes his shirt. _“Fine._ ”

“You’re missing something,” Hirako says, tilting his head, before grinning, and fishing something out. “Got it! _Sunglasses!_ Try ‘em on.”

“The ultimate cool guy look,” Toushirou deadpans, and puts them on.

“Not like that, like _this,_ ” Hirako demonstrates, pointing to the top of his head. “Put them there, and _that’s_ the ultimate cool guy look.”

“If you say so,” Toushirou mutters, and lifts the sunglasses so they rest on the top of his head. “How do I look?”

“Like you’re ready to break a few hearts in just five minutes,” Hirako winks. “I wish I could see everyone’s faces as they finally see Hitsugaya Juushirou.”

“Maybe Momo will snap a photo,” Toushirou deadpans, and fixes a wry grin on his face. “Better?”

“ _Better_ ,” Hirako grins back, satisfied by what he sees. “Just remember, when in doubt, everyone loves puns.”

“I don’t.”

“ _Especially_ you, Juushirou,” Hirako chuckles, like Toushirou has said the most adorable sentence ever. “Puns are your friends. Use them well.”

 

 

 _Deep breath_ , Toushirou tells himself, before Juushirou steps into the Daruma Bar. _Showtime._

“Hello, hello, hello!” Juushirou announces himself with _panache_ , with ease and comfortableness that Toushirou has never shown before, as he draws everyone’s attention to himself as he makes his grand debut into the public eye. “Sorry I’m late!”

And there is silence.

He sharpens his smile, unfazed because he expected it, and proceeds smoothly to the next part of the plan.

“ _Byakuya!”_ Juushirou calls, striding towards the stoic man, watching with delight at colour slowly draining away from his face. “It’s a long time, _buddy!_ ”

“It certainly has been… Juushirou,” Kuchiki says, clinging on to the last vestiges of regal dignity as best he can. “Thank you for your many haikus.”

“Thank you for _yours_ ,” Juushirou responds, equally magnanimously, jubilantly, voice booming as he pulls Kuchiki into a tight embrace. His face fixed as a smile, he whispers into Kuchiki’s ears. “ _Five minutes and that’s it.”_

Kuchiki sighs, almost imperceptibly, which Toushirou takes as his version of saying _understood_.

“My _bestest_ of friends,” Juushirou says, loudly, so everyone can hear him, as he draws back from the embrace only to sling his arm around Kuchiki’s shoulder, playing it cool and casual as can be, while Kuchiki stiffens and does his best to ‘play along’. Kuchiki can hate him all he likes, Toushirou guarantees that he hates Kuchiki _more_ , and he’s going to have fun with it. He turns to face Abarai and Kuchiki, and places his other hand on his heart, deeply touched by their thoughtfulness. “Thank you _so_ much for the invitation, Rukia and Renji. May nothing but good things follow your future.”

“You’re welcome, Hitsugaya-san,” Abarai says, gaping a little. “Rukia and I are so happy that could make it.”

“Unfortunately, Ume isn’t able to be here, but, I’m glad Momo is,” Juushirou says, releasing Kuchiki as he approaches Momo. If he’s being honest, towering over Momo is something that never gets old. “How have you been, sweet sister?”

“Better now that you’re here, Shirou-kun,” Momo squeaks, flustering as she tries to speak normally, like they’ve known each other forever. Even if they’ve rehearsed this encounter a million times, they’re doubly nervous now that they have everyone’s eyes on them. “I was wondering where you were.”

“I got a little lost,” Juushirou admits with a bashful smile, shrugging carelessly as he places his hand on his neck. “I think my baby brother may have given me the wrong directions.”

“Shirou-chan would never!” Momo says, folding her arms over her chest.

“See, Ichigo! Captain Hitsugaya _does_ have a brother!” Kuchiki says, loudly bringing the attention back to her.

Toushirou stares at her. Is _that_ the real reason why Kuchiki and Abarai wanted to invite Juushirou to their wedding? To prove to Kurosaki that Juushirou exists?

“Not…” Kuchiki’s cheeks redden. “ _Not_ that I doubting Nii-sama’s word, of course.”

“And where _is_ Toushirou?” Kurosaki asks, flatly. He looks around, a vicious, victorious glint in his eye as he _knows_ Toushirou can’t be both Toushirou _and_ Juushirou at the same time. Kurosaki continues, triumphant. “Anyone see him?”

“Um, he’s with Captain Hirako,” Momo clears her throat, perfectly composed as she responds to Kurosaki’s question, as if it’s as simple as that. “They stepped outside few minutes ago.”

Lo and behold, Hirako is nowhere in sight.

“That’s convenient, isn’t it?” Kurosaki raises his eyebrow, not letting up in the slightest. “The second Juushirou appears, Toushirou is gone?”

“Don’t be rude, Ichigo!” Kuchiki snaps, flustering. “Captain Hitsugaya’s older brother has only just arrived, there’s _plenty_ of time for Captain Hitsugaya and his brother to talk. Or, what? Are you going to accuse Captain Hitsugaya when he returns that he’s a _gigai?_ ”

A  _gigai._

Now there's a thought.

They could have used a  _gigai_ to get both Toushirou and Juushirou in the same place at the same time. They probably also could have gotten a second  _gigai_ to make Ume appear so that the entire Hitsugaya-Hinamori family could have appeared altogether.

(Which would mean, Momo reminds him, her voice in the back of his head, in a very disapproving tone, that they would have to bring Baa-chan to the wedding.)

Honestly, Toushirou kind of regrets the instant dismissal of the idea, but then again he can't bear the thought of trying to interact with a _gigai_ that looks like him but has a butchered personality while Toushirou himself pretends to be Juushirou, his own brother, with all the vim and vigor that ridiculous caricature entailed.

(But you could have  _practised_ , Hirako tutted, during those two weeks of getting ready for the wedding, you could have  _prepared._ Still, Toushirou refused. And Hirako had sighed, but abided, murmuring that it was a wasted opportunity, but _so be it._ )

 

It's a thought that makes his head hurt.

“Are you serious?” Kurosaki says, staring at Kuchiki with disbelief, before turning his incredulous expression to Juushirou, disdainful. “That’s _obviously —“_

“What’s with that frostiness, friend?” Juushirou interrupts with a wide eyed look, deciding not to take offence and appear confused instead. “I don’t believe we’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Hi, I’m Hitsugaya Juushirou. You are… Ichigo, correct?”

He sticks out his hand, and waits.

“I know it’s _you_ ,” Kurosaki growls, narrowing his eyes, and Toushirou cuts in before he continues.

“Yes, I just introduced myself,” Juushirou replies politely, and decides to simply reach down, take Kurosaki’s hand and shake it. It’s kind of nice towering over Kurosaki, and watching him get taken aback by how _weird_ he’s acting. His facial expressions are… going through a lot that Toushirou kind of wished someone was recording them. “Now, it appears that we’re skating on thin ice somewhat. I can’t have that, not if we’re here to celebrate this lovely wedding, Ichigo. It creates _such_ a _chilly_ atmosphere, and I would _hate_ for that to happen. No, no, it will not do. It’s no — oh, _snow_ joke, you know?”

Everyone loves a blizzard of puns, and Kurosaki is rendered speechless, staring at him utterly flummoxed.

“What the _fu_ —”

“This wedding is all about reaching out and making a new path to better and brighter things, _Ichigo_ ,” Juushirou lectures, still holding Kurosaki’s hand and tightening his grip, desperate to prevent him from doing something reckless and ruin _everything._ “If you have some grievances with me, or my baby brother, perhaps we should air them elsewhere. Now, I cannot _claim_ to represent Toushirou all that well, _but_ it is the duty of an older brother to protect them, you must understand that, and so, perhaps I can help mediate a reconciliation of sorts, before you see him again. What do you think?”

“I —”

“Like a walk!” Toushirou adds, because if they’re going to hash it out, it _absolutely_ cannot be inside the Daruma Bar. He snaps his fingers, as if he has been inspired. “Yes, fresh air, a nice stroll, plenty of time to break the ice. I like the sound of that! Perhaps we’ll even meet up with my baby brother and that’ll set your mind at ease?”

Kurosaki is… staring at him.

“ _Ichigo,”_ Kuchiki says, bossily.

Kurosaki opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it.

“Fine,” Kurosaki moodily agrees, deciding to listen to reason and refrain from arguing with Kuchiki on her wedding day, because it’ll make a scene and make him look even more foolish than he already does.

Than they both do, really.

“ _Fine_ ,” Kurosaki snaps, and with his hand still in hold, he drags Juushirou out with him. “Let’s take a walk, _Juushirou.”_

 

 

 “You _dumbass!_ ” Kurosaki shouts, after Toushirou uses _shunpo_ to make sure that no one can follow them or overhear them, hardly needing to drop what little pretence of politeness as soon as they’re alone. “You’re _obviously_ Toushirou in _bankai_ mode! What the hell are you doing?”

“I could ask you the _same_ question, Kurosaki!” Toushirou glowers, equally as annoyed. He huffs, and removes those ridiculous sunglasses from the top his head. “Do you _want_ to ruin their wedding day?”

“ _What?”_ Kurosaki looks dumbfounded. “How am _I_ going to ruin the wedding when _you’re pretending to be a brother that you don’t even have?”_

“That! By doing _that_ , Kurosaki! Keep on making remarks like that and _that_ is how you’ll ruin the wedding!” Toushirou informs, tetchily, getting angrier with Kurosaki as the seconds pass by because he should be spending those _five minutes with Abarai and Kuchiki, not with Kurosaki_. “I’m doing this as a _favour_ —”

“Oh, like you did with Karin?” Kurosaki retorts, not impressed. “Nice going there, bastard.”

Toushirou bites his tongue, because Kurosaki is right, and they both know it, but he really doesn’t have time for this.

 _“_ What the hell,” Toushirou mutters to himself, and makes the decision to have the rest of their conversation in his normal form, rather than in the body of his future self. He can always change back. At least this way he won’t do something stupid and turn Kurosaki into an ice block.

His clothes are a little big now, but oh well. He should have expected that, really.

“Okay,” Toushirou says, folding his arms across his chest. “Let me make myself perfectly clear, Kurosaki. What happened with Karin was a mistake on my part and I’m sorry things turned out the way they did. I cannot stress that enough. If Karin was here, I would not even think _twice_ about letting Juushirou appear.”

“ _Good_ ,” Kurosaki says, folding his arms across his chest. “At least you have _some_ sense.”

“Why isn’t Karin here, by the way?” Toushirou lets himself ask, in the heat of the moment. He couldn’t ask Inoue, but maybe he could risk asking Kurosaki. “Or Yuzu? Aren’t they friends of Kuchiki and Abarai?”

“They are, but school comes first,” Kurosaki says, firmly, making a face that almost says _so there_.

“Alright,” Toushirou nods, satisfied with that explanation. “You know, I’m surprised you never dropped by again, Kurosaki. After what happened…”

“I thought about it,” Kurosaki admits, looking down at his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets, before meeting Toushirou’s gaze. “You lied to me. You hurt Karin. I _was_ tempted.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think there wasn’t anything I could say that would make you feel worse than you probably already did,” Kurosaki says, simply, sighing, and for the first time, Toushirou sees pity in his expression. “Orihime mentioned that you were trying to apologize for something at the time but couldn’t work up the nerve to do it. My old man, he said you were out of sorts. And when I thought back to when we talked… it was pretty obvious in retrospect that you were stressed about Juushirou, and that it was taking a toll on you. So, I guess it clicked when I put things together like that.”

_Oh._

“I just… can’t figure out why you did it in the first place.”

“Isshin didn’t tell you?” Toushirou asks flatly, finding that rather hard to believe.

“It didn’t make much sense when he tried,” Kurosaki shrugs. “So, I want to hear the truth directly from you.”

“This stays between us, right?” Toushirou says, hesitant.

“Yeah.”

“Alright then. It started during the Quincy War,” Toushirou sighs, and Kurosaki raises his eyebrow. “Hey, you _asked_. That’s how it all began, Kurosaki. I used my _bankai,_ transformed, turned into my future self, Abarai and Kuchiki saw me, and… jumped to that conclusion.”

“Rukia said something like that too,” Kurosaki nods. “Go on.”

“Well, at the time, I thought it better to go along with their assumption than to correct them,” Toushirou presses his lips together, and no matter how he’s twisted and turned the facts in his head, being able to _pinpoint_ where it went wrong only makes him loathe himself more, because he could have _easily_ have stopped things escalating like they had if only he had shouted a few words and corrected them for their folly.

If he had only known then what he knew now.

“To be fair, there were other things to be concerned about in a war zone, and in my defence, I didn’t think any harm would come of it. I know how ridiculous that sounds, given what happened. But hindsight is everything, Kurosaki,” Toushirou shrugs. “Anyway, since nothing _did_ happen for a year, I forgot all about it. That is, until Abarai and Kuchiki remembered, out of the blue, and starts telling everyone about the time they had met my older brother. And so, people start asking questions, and the rumours began to grow, and it was like it had taken a life of its own, so… Juushirou was born.”

“And you didn’t bother to say something then?” Kurosaki makes a face.

“People wanted to believe in it, no matter what I said,” Toushirou says, bitterly. Maybe he hadn’t outright _denied_ it, but surely acting irritated was an indicator that something wasn’t right. Maybe he could have handled it better, instead of becoming more and more embarrassed that everyone was so ready to believe that he _had_ an older brother. He was stunned silent. And then, in his own way, he went along with it, because what was the harm? It wasn’t as if Juushirou was going to appear again.

He’d _genuinely_ believed that, back then. What an _idiot._

And maybe he _liked_ spending time with Momo because of it, alright? It was fun watching her create Juushirou’s backstory that integrated with their own, shaping their personalities, for better or for worse. He enjoyed being able to have a say in it, arguing about the nuances of a person of make believe.

Even if he had said that he didn’t have a brother, Momo was spinning tales, and telling everyone that he _did_ and who would they have believed, in that scenario?

The naysayer who refused to talk about it, or the storyteller who weaved stories that were too detailed to be a lie?

“You couldn’t say something to Karin?” Kurosaki asks, flatly. “Before it all began?”

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” Toushirou shakes his head, and he supposes that _was_ an option, but he’d been so sick of being asked about Juushirou that it had been a relief to not talk to Karin about it. Karin, who knew nothing about it, or if she did, didn’t ask him any questions like everyone else had, and Toushirou was able to finally relax and be at ease. Juushirou was Seireitei's problem, not Karakura Town's. “Juushirou was a… nuisance, yes, but essentially harmless because he was nothing more than a rumour to pass the time. It’s not like I transformed routinely and made it seem like he was playing hide and seek in Seireitei, waiting to be seen. He was just… gossip, really.”

He releases a lengthy sigh.

“I figured if I ignored it, at some point, people would lose interest and forget about him. It didn’t stop the Women’s Shinigami Association from trying to hunt him down, though,” Toushirou notes, frowning at the memory. He’s still mystified at why they’d been so ready to believe the sighted spotting of Juushirou when he had done nothing of the sort. “Anyway, the time comes when there’s a powerful Hollow in Karakura Town, and I needed my completed _bankai_ to defeat it. Karin sees me before I get the chance to transform back, and already knew who he was, thanks to Kuchiki. Yeah, I know, I _could_ have transformed then and there, Kurosaki, but I was surprised that she knew Juushirou existed at all, so I did what I did the first time around and just… went with it.”

It didn’t occur to him until later that he could have done that. Another moment to realize how easily things could have been avoided had he only been a bit braver, a bit less embarrassed.

“And so you decided to continue visit her, while she… what, grew more and more infatuated with him?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Toushirou protests, scowling as Kurosaki looks at him with scepticism. “Not at first, okay? When she told me that she thought he was hot, I… didn’t get it.”

“Really?” Kurosaki says, flatly.

“I don’t like the way that I look in the future,” Toushirou shrugs. He doesn’t know why that’s so hard to believe. “So, I visit her again, try to understand. Still don’t get it, but that time, Karin gets to know what Juushirou is _like_ — and she still likes him. And that… I didn’t deal with that well. I didn’t like the thought that Karin liked my fictional big brother better than me, and so… well, that’s when things really start getting out of control. By that point, it’s far too late to admit that Juushirou doesn’t exist to anyone. And I’m… I don’t know. I still don’t know what the hell was I was trying to do, Kurosaki, back then. I was going insane, losing sleep, exhausting myself using my _bankai_ like that and trying to forcing myself to be someone I’m not all because… I’ve deluded myself with thoughts of grandeur. And, well, you know what happens next; I crash and burn because I was literally going out of my mind trying to keep on top of it all.”

“Huh,” Kurosaki says.

“That’s about it,” Toushirou says, he might have paraphrased a bit, but that’s pretty much the gist.

“And… you’re okay now?” Kurosaki asks, concerned, gesturing at him. “You’re not… like you were before?”

“Yeah, no, I’m much better these days,” Toushirou says, caught off guard that Kurosaki actually asked about his wellbeing. “I mean, I’m currently pretending to _be_ Juushirou at a wedding, which I suppose _is_ its own brand of madness, but I’m much more well-adjusted and handling the situation this time around.”

“Right.”

“I’ve had two weeks to practice,” Toushirou says, somewhat self-consciously. “It takes _months_ for me to… well. Collapse out of exhaustion.”

Toushirou does not know what to make of Kurosaki’s expression.

… it’s probably best to not mention the hallucinations of Juushirou that appeared at the end. That was pretty batshit.

So, all in all, Toushirou would say that since he’s not taking Juushirou as seriously as he did last time, it’s going much better, generally.

“Good to know,” Kurosaki says, furrowing his brow, still looking at him, concerned. “Anyway. Orihime told me that you wanted to tell Karin the truth, at some point?”

“I tried,” Toushirou admits. “I intended to reveal the truth by transforming from Juushirou back to myself and… well, fainting right in front of Karin wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Kurosaki says, flatly. “You didn’t think to do it the other way around?”

“It lacked flair?” Toushirou says, almost as if it’s a question. It was a simpler reveal, but. Flair was important, and Toushirou transforming into Juushirou had much less flair than Juushirou transforming into Toushirou, and flair, at that time, was _really_ important to him for some reason. “I know that’s stupid, since I’d probably have lost Karin’s friendship either way, but I was hardly thinking rationally by that point.”

“So what were you trying to achieve with Juushirou, then?” Kurosaki lifts his eyebrow. “ _Were_ you trying to date Karin?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Yes,” Toushirou shrugs, trying to make sense of his actions on reflection. He _was_ motivated by jealousy and insecurity, but even he doesn’t fully understand what happened. “For a while, I thought it was possible, I guess. I don’t know what I was thinking, Kurosaki. I _wasn’t_ thinking, is more likely. I was just trying to cling onto something while everything kept on escalating. And that was… dating Karin, maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know what to say, Kurosaki, the more I tried to go in that direction, the less I wanted to because I knew I couldn’t go through with it.”

It all seems so hollow and meaningless now.

“Then there was that basketball player that Karin liked,” Toushirou sighs, unable to remember his name. “And that… that was it, really. Even if she liked Juushirou, she liked the other guy more, and I just. I needed things to end. And it did.”

He was so _tired_ by that point. He knew that even with Juushirou, he didn’t have a chance with Karin, so why bother forcing the charade to continue any longer?

Even if that basketball player didn’t matter in the long run, it was a good excuse as any to finally stop.

“Unfortunately, people in Seireitei remain unaware of what occurred in Karakura Town, and still believe that Juushirou exists,” Toushirou exhales, and runs his hand through his hair, trying to suppress the annoyance that surges through him. “Which brings us to… Abarai and Kuchiki.”

The ones who started it all.

“I told them what happened to Karin,” Kurosaki scowls. “I thought they believed me.”

“Kuchiki convinced them otherwise,” Toushirou informs him, shrugging. “He… for whatever reason, _don’t_ ask me why because I have no idea… decided to tell Kuchiki that Juushirou was his best friend, and that they frequently wrote haiku to each other.”

“The fuck?” Kurosaki says, incredulous. “What did he do that for?”

“Why don’t _you_ ask him?” Toushirou says, through clenched teeth, because didn’t Kurosaki _listen_ to what he just said seconds ago? “Anyway, that’s what he did. They believed him over you, that's not on me. _Anyway_ , as I was saying, for some reason Abarai and Kuchiki decided to invite Juushirou to their wedding, and… here we are.”

“And you couldn’t tell the truth?” Kurosaki rolls his eyes, bewildered. “After what happened with Karin?”

“ _Hey!_ It’s been _two_ years since then, Kurosaki! Juushirou has been the _last_ thing on my mind,” Toushirou says, icily. “Forgive me for not instantly going ‘oh, haven’t you heard? Juushirou is a lie! Doesn’t exist! Never has!’ Like hell, I’d say something like that! They took me by surprise, like _always!_ I was too shocked to do anything else but agree.”

“You’ve had _weeks_ to tell them the truth,” Kurosaki points out, exasperated.

“Yeah, well,” Toushirou flusters, cheeks going bright red. “It’s still _hard_ to admit! Can you imagine how they’re going to react? Imagine the disappointment on their faces when they find out, after how excited they were to meet him.”

Kurosaki, out of nowhere, starts laughing.

“You are so _stupid_ , Toushirou,” Kurosaki grins, weirdly cheered up by the thought. “You’d rather go to these lengths than just admit the truth?”

“It’s _really_ embarrassing to say it, okay?” Toushirou protests, indignantly, face blazing with mortification. “Even after everything that’s happened! It’s _hard_ to tell people who believe in Juushirou that he doesn’t exist! And you’re telling me that I should tell them on their _wedding_ day? I’d sooner _die!_ I mean, look at me, Kurosaki! Look at me! My clothes don’t even fit! I’m wearing sunglasses for literally no reason at all! I’m not even wearing them properly! And I am speaking puns! Puns! They are the worst!”

“Yeah, I feel so sorry for you,” Kurosaki drawls, rolling his eyes, not even sounding remotely sympathetic. “Your day must be so hard, living this lie that brought on yourself.”

“Wrong! _They_ brought it on me!” Toushirou retorts, clinging to that resentment that has been building throughout the years. “ _They_ started it! _They_ invited him to the wedding! This is _their_ fault!”

“Sure. Whatever you say, Toushirou,” Kurosaki shrugs. “So, are you planning to do?”

“I just have to pretend to be Juushirou for five minutes, and then nobody has to hear about him again,” Toushirou tells him, heatedly, trying to calm down. “That’s it. That’s all I have to do.”

“Really?” Kurosaki lifts his eyebrow. “And you’re never going to tell them the truth, ever?”

“I didn’t say that,” Toushirou primly replies. “I’m just not going to tell them _today_. And I would appreciate it, Kurosaki, if you didn’t ruin it for me. For them.”

“But you _are_ going to tell them,” Kurosaki needles. “Eventually.”

“Well,” Toushirou clears his throat. “Yes.”

He does _want_ to do it, but whether he can muster up the courage is another story.

“I wish I could see the look on their faces when you do,” Kurosaki notes, sounding almost amused at the thought. “Alright. As long as you promise that this isn’t going to be a repeat performance of last time, I’ll go along with your ridiculousness _today_.”

“Thank you, Kurosaki,” Toushirou breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Kurosaki asks, raising his eyebrow. “Using your _bankai_ twice in a row…”

“It’s fine,” Toushirou says, curtly. He’ll be worn out when it’s over, but… he’ll be fine as soon as he eats something. He starts his transformation, and waits. “What did you think about Juushirou, anyway?”

“If I didn’t know he was you, you mean?” Kurosaki tilts his head. “It would be much harder to believe that you were really him all this time. You don’t act anything like yourself when you’re him. And you smile _so_ much, it’s uncanny.”

“And I pun,” Toushirou mournfully adds.

“And you pun,” Kurosaki echoes, furrowing his brow. “Didn’t expect that.”

“I’ve never had to use so many all at once either,” Toushirou tells him, back to being Juushirou, tall and thin and towering. He rolls his shoulders, testing his limbs. “So it’s a first for me too.”

“Just don’t use any more puns, okay?” Kurosaki says.

“Or what?” Toushirou raises his eyebrow. “You’ll give me the cold shoulder?”

Kurosaki _glowers_ at him.

“That was awful!” Kurosaki admonishes _._

“It’s a pun!” Toushirou retorts, heat rushing to his cheeks. “They’re _all_ awful!”

 

 

“I was wrong,” Kurosaki announces, in a flat voice, his acting skills utterly terrible, in Toushirou’s opinion _._ “After having a walk with Juushirou, there is no way that Juushirou can be Toushirou.”

“I could have told you that, Ichigo!” Kuchiki rolls her eyes, as if he’d had the most pointless epiphany and the only person surprised by it is him. “There’s _no way_ that Captain Hitsugaya will _ever_ be as tall as his big brother!”

“Right,” Kurosaki says, trying his damndest not to laugh. He looks pointedly at Toushirou. Smirking. “Absolutely no way.”

Toushirou hates him _so much._

“He _wishes_ he could be as tall as me,” Toushirou says instead, stretching his mouth into something that hopefully resembles a smile.

Kurosaki’s smirk only widens.

They take a few photos together for posterity’s sake, and Kurosaki actually _does_ do a decent attempt at getting along with Juushirou with everyone there, but every once in a while, Toushirou _swears_ he can hear Kurosaki attempting to muffle his snickers once or twice, and tries to ignore how his ears turn bright red.

In time, Toushirou relaxes. Kurosaki excuses himself to talk with Kuchiki, and while Toushirou intends to speak with Kuchiki as he promised — those five minutes were supposed to be with _him_ , after all — a new problem arises.

And Toushirou can’t help but think, _I should have predicted this._

He did not.

“ _Hello,_ ” Matsumoto purrs, eyes bright as she gazes at him appreciatively. “Aren’t you a cool glass of water?”

“Hitsugaya Juushirou, at your service,” Juushirou bows his head, plastering a smile on his face so he doesn’t scream. “And you are?”

“Matsumoto Rangiku,” Matsumoto replies, grin spreading like she intends to devour him. “I’m your brother’s Vice-Captain. He never mentioned me?”

“Oh, _that_ Matsumoto Rangiku,” Juushirou says, not even blinking, and asks himself an old question. _What would Hirako Shinji do?_ “ _Yes_ , I have heard a _great_ deal about you, Ran-chan.”

“All good things, I hope?” Matsumoto flutters her lashes, attempting to be coy.

“As if there could be anything else,” Juushirou assures her, while Toushirou lies through his teeth. _Fuck._ He’s reached the nightmare scenario. He’s being hit on. By his own Vice-Captain. “You’re more stunning than I could have possibly imagined.”

“Captain Hitsugaya talked about my beauty?” Matsumoto says, surprised, and yet is clearly pleased by that fact. “Aww, he is _such_ a sweetheart!”

“He could talk of nothing else,” Juushirou says, vainly hoping that somehow Momo might intervene and steal him away. Far, far away.

“You should hear the way he talks about _you_ , Juushirou-kun,” Matsumoto says, giggling girlishly, flicking her hair. “The secrets I could spill…”

“Secrets?” Juushirou looks around, intrigued. “What _kind_ of secrets?”

“If I told you that, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore,” Matsumoto points out, archly. Before leaning forward and murmuring. “But maybe I could tell you _one_ secret.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Juushirou promises, crossing his heart. “Is it a good secret?”

“It’s the _best_ secret,” Matsumoto winks, breathy. “But I’d have to whisper in your ear, if I told you it…”

“That can be easily arranged,” Juushirou flashes a charming smile, and lowers his head, so she can do exactly that.

A beat.

For a moment, there is nothing but silence. He can feel her breath. And then she speaks.

“You could never fool me,” Matsumoto whispers, grin evident in her voice. “ _Captain.”_

She draws back, smug, and Toushirou knows that nothing he can say will convince her to believe that she's made a mistake. Matsumoto sees right through him, past his future self’s guise, piercing him to the core and Toushirou is so, so _fucked_.

And then before he even realizes he’s reacted, he grabs hold of her and disappears from the Daruma Bar once again.

 

 

For a moment, there is nothing but blue skies and the sound of laughter.

Specifically: Matsumoto’s laughter.

Toushirou is left staring at her, jerking back once he realizes what he’s done. He just — used _shunpo_ without thinking about it, that desperate to escape in case his face gave everything away, like it is now, with wide eyes and a gobsmacked expression.

And Matsumoto laughs and laughs and _laughs._

“I _did_ say it was the _best_ secret, didn’t I?” Matsumoto says, still cackling. “What did you think, Captain?”

It’s like his brain isn’t working properly because the only thing he can do is _gape._

“W-what?”

He’s running her words through his mind, but they just _don’t_ _make sense._

_You could never fool me you could never fool me you could never fool me —_

“The look on your _face,_ Captain!” Matsumoto says, full of mirth. “I got you _good_ , and the best part, Captain? The _best_ part is that you have _no_ _idea_ how long I have been _waiting for this_.”

“Are you — are you _serious?”_

“Yup,” Matsumoto crows, tapping his nose, smug. “I have to hand it to you, Captain; you lasted longer than I thought you would.”

“When… _when did you find out?”_ Toushirou shrieks, still trying to process everything that Matsumoto is telling him. That Matsumoto _knows._ “Did Karin tell you?”

“No, silly, I’ve known the whole time!” Matsumoto chirps, and Toushirou gasps. Impossible! “If Isshin knew all along, why do you think I wouldn’t either?”

“So… so,” Toushirou stutters, and in his surprise, he transforms back into his original self, memories crashing all around him, as he sees them in a new light. “You’ve been messing with me this entire time?”

“Yeah,” Matsumoto beams, unrepentantly sunny. “Pretty much.”

_“And you never thought to tell me that you knew from the start?”_

“No way! This was _much_ more fun!” Matsumoto declares, relishing how well she played him. “Besides, turnabout is fair play, don’t you think?”

_Fuck._

He walked straight into that one.

“I really thought you’d lose your temper whenever anyone talked about Juushirou,” Matsumoto admits. “But no, you held it together. Said nothing even though I could tell you really wanted to.”

The _one_ time where losing his temper would have probably ended the whole debacle, and time and time again, he refrained from doing so.

He is _furious_ at himself.

“I underestimated you,” Toushirou says, at last, realizing that Matsumoto had played him like a fiddle. He _should_ have figured it out after Isshin, but Matsumoto, so earnest and excited at the prospect of Hitsugaya Juushirou, had played her part so perfectly, it never even _occurred_ to him that she was faking it. _Stupid_.

“You did, Captain,” Matsumoto agrees, breezily, bursting into triumphant laughter. “And don’t you forget it.”

Matsumoto is going to lord it over him for years.

_Years._

“We are going to have a _long_ talk about this, afterwards,” Toushirou says, exhaling. He doesn’t have the time for it now. “But I can’t have you telling everyone the truth, so. What do you want, Matsumoto?”

“A photo shoot,” Matsumoto bargains, and Toushirou’s eyebrow lifts. She’s been waiting for this moment, it seems. “The Shinigami Women’s Association are determined to have a calendar for next year, and _I_ want Juushirou to be the model.”

“You evil woman,” Toushirou says, automatically.

“I’m a _crafty_ and _cunning_ woman, you mean,” Matsumoto corrects him, eyes twinkling, amused. “Or do you _want_ me to tell Renji and Rukia before you get the chance?”

“ _Fine,_ ” Toushirou rolls his eyes and agrees to her terms. “Are we done?”

“Yep,” Matsumoto nods, satisfied. “You should probably transform back, Captain. Don’t want anyone to get suspicious of what _Juushirou_ and I might have been up to.”

“I will do no such thing,” Toushirou denies, deciding that his five minutes of Juushirou are used up. “You will return back to the Daruma Bar without me, and if anyone asks, tell them that Juushirou decided to take off.”

“And what will _you_ be doing, Captain?” Matsumoto asks, sounding disappointed.

“ _I_ will be getting changed into clothes that _fit_ me,” Toushirou says, tersely, and leaves Matsumoto there, pouting.

Those ‘five minutes’ are _up._

 

 

“There you are!” Momo says, relieved, as Toushirou discreetly sits beside her. “Ever since Captain Hirako returned, I’ve been wondering where you’ve been, Shirou-chan. Is everything okay?”

“Things could be better, but they’re fine,” Toushirou shrugs. “They’re fine.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Momo asks, glancing at him with concern.

“Later,” Toushirou promises. His mind is still reeling, truth be told, and definitely needs more time to come to terms with it before he tells anyone else.

His stomach rumbles. Loudly.

“I’m going to get you something to eat, Shirou-chan,” Momo says, patting his shoulder, and smiling at him, as if saying, _well done, you survived_ , before taking off and doing exactly as she said she would.

Momo refuses to leave his side until the end, insisting that it’s just a precaution, and Toushirou doesn’t mind, relaxing after he’s regained his energy, able to enjoy the rest of the wedding reception now that the worst is over.

All in all, it went better than he could have possibly hoped.

 

 

Team Hitsu-liar reconvenes a day later.

“So, to recap,” Hirako says, flatly, “Ichigo decided to back off and Ran-chan _knew all along?”_

“Yes,” Toushirou says, letting the news sink in. “That is correct.”

“But… but Matsumoto-san was the one who was most enthusiastic for Juushirou-kun!” Momo says, knitting her brow, looking _extremely_ confused. “Wasn’t Matsumoto-san the one who encouraged Karin-san the most about Juushirou-kun?”

“Yes,” Toushirou confirms, exhaling heavily. He wonders how he didn’t see it sooner — this is the _exact_ sort of stunt Matsumoto would pull off if she could, and she did so fantastically. “She was.”

“Gotta give her props,” Hirako mulls, almost with a note of admiration. “Even _I_ didn’t suspect her of anything. I have to buy her a drink and congratulate her.”

“You do that,” Toushirou mutters, not paying him any mind. “Anyway, when Abarai and Kuchiki return from their honeymoon, that’s when I’m telling them about Juushirou. I want you two to be me there with me, in case…”

In case his embarrassment gets the better of him, he wants to say. Because he doesn’t know if it will. It _might_. He’s been able to speak more openly about it, and talking about it with Kurosaki had given him a better perspective on the whole situation, but when it comes to Kuchiki and Abarai, he… there’s still some part of them that hesitates at telling the truth.

Still.

“Of course,” Momo says, understanding. “We’re here for you, Shirou-chan.”

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m missing out on seeing the look on their faces when they find out,” Hirako says, grinning.

“Captain!”

“I mean, I’m here to support you and give you a nudge in the right direction,” Hirako drawls, rolling his eyes as he changes his stance for Momo’s sake. “Speaking of, you did _great_ as Juushirou! Those quick successions of puns you dished out to Ichigo? I could not be _more_ proud of you, _Captain_ Hitsugaya.”

In his own twisted way, Toushirou genuinely believes Hirako _means_ it.

“Thanks,” Toushirou says, dryly, before something flickers in his memory. “Hey, Momo, the clothes you gave me didn’t fit!”

“What?” Momo says, mouth parting.

“Yeah!” Toushirou says, emphatic, his shoulders heightening as his face turns hot. “They were too small! That’s why I ditched the shirt!”

“Ahem,” Hirako coughs.

“Hirako came up with the idea to ditch the shirt,” Toushirou amends.

“Thank you.”

“I’m so sorry!” Momo says, pressing her hands to her mouth, as she gazes at him with a crestfallen expression. “I _really_ thought they were the right size, Shirou-chan.”

“Oh, they were,” Hirako says, shameless as always. “Honestly, wearing the jacket without the shirt is a _marvellous_ look, and he pulled it off majestically.”

“It’s not your fault, Momo,” Toushirou says, ignoring Hirako’s perpetually positive opinion. “I should have checked beforehand that they fit instead of leaving it to the last minute. And, it doesn’t matter anyway. We prevailed. Team Hitsu-liar accomplished its objective.”

“You really like that name, don’t you?” Hirako grins.

“Well,” Toushirou shrugs. “It’s growing on me.”

Now there’s only one more thing to do, and then things will go back to the way they should have been years ago.

 

 

It’s every bit as uncomfortable as Toushirou expected it would be; only it’s a thousand times _worse_.

He’s been running through the words in his mind, trying to think of how to tell the truth — to reveal it to them — the way he should have done with Karin.

He gives Kuchiki and Abarai a week after they return, before summoning everyone to his office.

“Captain,” Abarai says, nervous. “You wanted to speak with us?”

“Yes, that is correct,” Toushirou says, more than a little grateful that Matsumoto is nowhere in sight. Where she is, he doesn't know, and he'll be sure to track her down afterwards, but for now, at least, it's irrelevant. Everyone is here — Kuchiki, Kuchiki, Abarai, Hirako and Momo — so he takes a deep breath and begins. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Abarai, Kuchiki. I should have told you three years ago, but… I have been too ashamed to admit it.”

Inhale. Exhale.

All he has to do is say the sentence he’s repeated countless times in his head out loud.

Simple, right?

“I don’t have a brother,” Toushirou states in one breath, looking through them, not at them. He tries again, in case they didn’t hear him. “Hitsugaya Juushirou does not exist.”

Silence.

“But, we _saw_ him,” Kuchiki says, looking confused. She looks at Abarai, who is equally confused. Abarai nods, confirming, and Kuchiki turns back to Toushirou. “We _talked_ to him, Captain Hitsugaya. He was at our wedding —”

“We invited him to prove to Ichigo that he was _real_ ,” Abarai says, blankly. “He turned up. Are you saying that that didn’t happen?”

“About that _,_ ” Toushirou clears his throat, nails digging into his palm, as he tries to think of the best way to break the news to them and cannot think of any way to do so gently. “What you saw — ahem, _who_ you saw — was not Juushirou. As I said, there is no Juushirou. It was me. I did that. Me. I said all those things. I did all those things.”

They stare at him, uncomprehending.

“Simply put,” Toushirou explains, hoping that if he tells them of how it happened, they might comprehend it better. “My _bankai_ in its completed form has the ability to accelerate my age. So when you thought you saw my brother, in actual fact, you saw my future self. What I am going to look like in the future, that is. Obviously, my personality is nothing like that, and won't be anything like that in the future, I hope!”

He barks out a laugh, awkward, fully aware that his joke has fallen flat.

More silence.

“Let me get this straight,” Abarai says, furrowing his brow for a moment, before asking. “It was you all along?”

“Yes.”

“ _The whole time?_ ”

“… yes,” Toushirou confirms, hesitantly glancing at Momo and Hirako, who are also nodding. Heat rises to his cheeks, and Toushirou decides to explain. “When Kuchiki first saw me in that form and came to that conclusion that it must be my brother, I felt it was best to go along with it, since it happened in the middle of the war. I had meant to tell you afterwards, only the rebuilding of Soul Society took precedence, and at some point… I had forgotten that it had happened at all. By the time Abarai remembered, a year later, there never seemed to be the right time to inform anyone that what happened had been a misunderstanding.”

Maybe that’s twisting the truth a little bit, but it’s still _fairly_ true.

He never _could_ find the right time to tell anyone, so he bottled up his frustrations and let Momo take care of it instead.

“That’s partly my fault,” Momo admits, raising her hand, in an attempt to draw the attention on her. “Since Shirou-chan didn’t want to tell anyone that he didn’t have a brother, and by the time we’d realized what that we had accidentally confirmed his existence, we decided to… pretend that we _did_ have a brother and add him to our past. Juushirou-kun had become such a tall tale that even if we _wanted_ to say anything, that we thought no one would believe us if we said otherwise.”

“Oh, _shit_ ,” Abarai says, gobsmacked, blood draining from his face. “I’m so sorry, Captain. I’m really sorry about that, Momo. I didn’t realize.”

“Why didn’t you tell us when we invited your brother to our wedding?” Kuchiki asks, who looks as dazed as Abarai, even if she holds her composure slightly better. “We would have believed you, Captain Hitsugaya.”

Toushirou pointedly avoids looking at Kuchiki.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” Toushirou says instead, not _exactly_ lying. There is a _component_ of truth to it, even if it isn’t the main reason. “You both were so excited to meet him again — even if it _was_ to prove to Kurosaki that Juushirou existed — that revealing the truth then seemed… wrong.”

And even if he’d known their true intention, Toushirou doubts he would have been able to spit the words out.

Even if he’d known it would make his life easier.

“Anyway, it’s… pretty embarrassing to admit that I _don’t_ have a brother after three years of pretending that I _do_ have one,” Toushirou mutters, when no one says anything.

“Oh,” Kuchiki says, delicately, at a loss of words, processing the information. She blinks, and turns. “Nii-sama, did you… did you know about this?”

Toushirou tenses.

“No,” Kuchiki says, lightly, not even _hesitating_ to take the opportunity to lie his lying ass off. _That_ _bastard_. “I am shocked, Captain Hitsugaya, _shocked_ —”

“Cut the crap, Kuchiki!” Toushirou snarls, losing his temper _instantly_ because he cannot handle the _audacity_ of this man. How _dare_ he try to play innocent when it was _his fault that Juushirou attended the wedding in the first place!_ “You _knew_ from the start! You were _there_ and you do _not_ get to act as if you _weren’t part of Team Hitsu-liar!”_

“… Team Hitsu-liar?” Kuchiki raises his eyebrow.

“It’s something I came up with,” Hirako coughs, while Toushirou seethes. “Thought we needed a name. Pretty good, right?”

Kuchiki stares at him.

“ _Why_ did you tell Kuchiki and Abarai that you and Juushirou were best friends in the first place?” Toushirou asks, after he's taken a deep breath to calm himself down, frankly baffled that Kuchiki had done such a thing. Since the truth is now out in the open, he figures now is the time to finally ask. “What could you _possibly_ achieve by saying that?”

“… it was supposed to be a joke,” Kuchiki admits, in a small voice, his cheeks colouring into the faintest shade of pink. “I admit that I was… vexed when you said that I couldn’t recognize a joke if I saw one, so I… made one.”

A beat.

“ _That’s_ why?” Toushirou says, voice rising into a shout. This is unbelievable. _Un-fucking-believable._ “It’s not even a _good_ joke, Kuchiki!”

“Are you kidding? It’s hilarious,” Hirako snorts, barely attempting to hide his amusement. “Serious, uptight Kuchiki best friends with anything-but-that Juushirou? Yeah, that’s pretty good.”

Toushirou ignores him.

“I did not know that things would end up like this,” Kuchiki continues, having the decency to look ashamed. “But by that point, I was committed to see it through to the end.”

“You blackmailed me into making Juushirou go to their wedding!” Toushirou shrieks.

“As I said,” Kuchiki intones, maintaining his aloofness. “Committed.”

“Unbelievable,” Toushirou sighs, deciding to take a deep breath and release all his frustration. At least _that_ mystery was solved.

“So, that means… _Ichigo_ was right this whole time?” Kuchiki says, troubled. “But —”

 _Right._ Toushirou had forgotten about Kurosaki.

“We came to an agreement when Kurosaki and I took a walk,” Toushirou says, apologetic. “Once I explained the situation, and ensured that I didn’t intend to ruin the wedding, he… decided to play along for the sake of not making things worse than they could have been.”

“I see,” Kuchiki says, nodding, before gasping. “I didn’t realize — Captain Hitsugaya, I am _so_ sorry about those things I said about how you could never be as tall —”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know,” Toushirou interrupts quickly, lifting his hand for her to stop. She’d already done a terrific job at crushing his dignity anyway. “Consider it forgotten.”

Her cheeks turn bright red, nevertheless.

“Rukia and I had no idea of the position we put you in, Captain Hitsugaya,” Abarai says, equally as embarrassed. “Had we known, we would have never have —”

“You couldn’t have predicted that it would end up like this, Abarai,” Toushirou says, gently, and decides to heed Inoue’s words, and admit that as much as it was their fault, it was his too, and he couldn’t — _shouldn’t —_ hold it against them anymore. “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any harm, but in the future, I would appreciate it if you did not jump to conclusions like you two did, and then spread the rumours before I get the chance to refute them, and then… well, end up in situations like this.”

“Understood, Captain,” Abarai and Kuchiki say in unison.

“If that’s all?” Kuchiki says, “I suspect we need some time to process what you’ve told us.”

“Yes, actually,” Momo says, piping up and anxiously wringing her hands. “I _also_ don’t have an older sister. There is no Hinamori Ume.”

 _“No!”_ Abarai’s jaw drops, equally aghast at her confession. “Not you _too_ , Momo!”

Toushirou can’t help but feel annoyed. Hinamori Ume existed for far less time than Hitsugaya Juushirou, and yet the revelation that she doesn’t exist either is _equally_ as shocking?

After all the effort he put in to make it seem that Juushirou was real?

“I’m sorry, Abarai-kun!” Momo winces, head downcast. “I should have said something sooner, but I couldn’t.”

Toushirou can almost hear the unspoken excuse — _it’s embarrassing —_ ringing in his head, and though he does his best not react, there is part of him that is taking satisfaction in Momo using the same excuse as he did.

“That’s everything, I think,” Toushirou says, feeling that everything important has been said, and if not, he can always summon them back into his office again. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone just yet.”

“Yes, Captain Hitsugaya.”

His office empties, and only Hirako and Momo are left behind.

For a few minutes, there is silence, and Toushirou lets himself savour the relief he feels. It’s like the weight on his shoulders has suddenly disappeared into lightness, and he can breathe again.

“To be a fly on the wall,” Hirako drawls, the first to speak. “I would love to know what those three are talking about now.”

“Captain!” Momo admonishes.

“What?” Hirako shrugs. “Don’t tell me you’re not curious, Momo.”

“No, but I expect I’ll find out soon enough,” Momo sighs, placing her hands on her hips. “I imagine Abarai-kun has plenty of questions that he’ll want to ask me later.”

“Good point,” Hirako snaps his fingers, impressed.

“Shirou-chan, are you okay?” Momo says, violet eyes full of concern. “You haven’t said anything for a while.”

“I’m fine, it’s just… I’m relieved I finally told them,” Toushirou says, and looks at both Hirako and Momo, and smiles. It took him long enough. He wonders why he was so afraid. “I couldn’t have done it without you. So. Thank you both for being here.”

“Of course,” Momo says, matching his smile. “Any time.”

“Was this really revenge?” Hirako asks, after a moment. “I mean, sure, you made them look like idiots, but…”

“Partly,” Toushirou shrugs. To be honest, Juushirou’s return was a combination of things. “I got blackmailed into being Juushirou; and I wanted to teach them all a lesson and I did, but… I also wanted a do-over. I wanted the chance to make it right.”

To tell them upfront in a way that he couldn’t do for Karin.

“You couldn’t have done it in a less complicated way, Shirou-chan?” Momo asks, quietly, lifting her eyebrow. “There were easier ways to have done this, surely.”

“Maybe,” Toushirou admits. “But this time, it worked out rather well, don’t you think?”

 

 

Word gets out, because of course it does.

This time, however, it’s on Toushirou’s terms. He announces it the next time there’s an assembly, and endures the exclamations and questions and expressions full of disbelief.

Now that it’s all out in the open, he wonders why he was so worried the first place, why his embarrassment was as strong and paralyzing as it had been, because revealing it first to Kuchiki and Abarai had been the first step in realizing that he could get past it. And now, admitting it to everyone else does not feel _nearly_ as daunting.

He tells them that it was a prank, and they should be a little less gullible when they hear rumours of someone having a sibling, when they’ve never mentioned him before.

He also admits, that he got a little more tangled up in it than he had intended, but felt it was best to reveal the truth a tad belatedly than never at all.

Matsumoto takes the opportunity to announce that he is going to use Daiguren Hyourinmaru The Handsome Edition when he models for the Shinigami Women’s Association’s new calendar scheme.

“Thank you, Matsumoto,” Toushirou says, curtly.

“His abs will be in high definition!” Matsumoto adds, and there’s a bit of wolf-whistling, much to his dismay.

 _“Yes, thank you, Matsumoto!”_ Toushirou repeats, gritting his teeth.

Why does it _always_ come back to the abs? Toushirou muses, exasperated. Surely his future self must have _other_ attractive features, but _no_ , all everyone wanted to talk about was the _abs._

Anyway.

The point is, the secret is out and life goes on. It becomes common knowledge and now no one can use Juushirou against him.

No more will Juushirou be able to ruin his life, his relationships, his future.

Hitsugaya Juushirou’s saga of terror is over at last, and Toushirou can leave his non-existent older brother in the past, and move on, and maybe, if he’s lucky, start to mend a friendship long since ruined.


End file.
